Horoscope for Monday
Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th
A meteor moved through your starsign last night. This leads me to think that if you are going on the Zip-line today, you should close your mouth. If not, you might swallow a bug. And that is not really a fun experience for the poor bug, you know.
Pisces: February 19th – March 20th
It looks almost like one of the stars in your starsign is missing. Have you lost something today, or maybe some other day? If you are lucky, someone will have found it, and it will be handed in at the Lost & Found. Of course, if it is your heart which you have lost, the Lost & Found cannot help you. But the Listening Ears might.
Aries: March 21st – April 19th
A star is flickering in a weird way close to your starsign. Therefore, you should keep an eye on your shoelaces today. It is very likely that they suddenly will be untied, and you might stumble and fall. If this happens, I know that the people at Medic are good at cleansing wounds. Because you will likely scrape your skin.
Taurus: April 20th – May 20th
Mercury is moving away from your starsign. Mercury is named after the messenger god. Therefore, I believe that you need to use your phone less today. Be in the moment instead of being on Facebook Messenger or SnapChat for instance. It will be really good for you.
Gemini: May 21st – June 20th
Pluto is no longer defined as a planet. But if it was, it would be the coldest planet in the Solar System. And right now Pluto is affecting your starsign. So today is the a very good idea to treat yourself with an ice-cream. It will make you feel very happy.
Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd
The Sun is getting closer to your starsign, and the Sun’s rays are shining very brightly close to your starsign. Therefore, today you should not wear a tank-top. You should protect your shoulders, or you will get sunburned.
Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd
Venus is the hottest planet in the Solar System – even though it is not the closest planet to the Sun. It is always 462 degrees celsius (or 864 degrees Fahrenheit) warm. And right now it is very close to your starsign. Which means that today you should not use lighters or matches. If you really need to create fire get other people to use them. If you use them yourself, you might pee in your bed tonight.
Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd
There are ticks around in the tall grass. Stay away from the tall grass today because you will get unlucky, and get attacked by ticks. I believe this will happen, because there is a very red star next to your starsign these days.
Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd
Your starsign is moving a bit around these days. It actually looks a bit chaotic. Maybe it is also starting to get a bit chaotic inside your tent? Today will be a good idea to clean up some of the mess you made in the tent. You know, I am right!
Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st
A weird electric light is showing up close to your starsign. Maybe specifically today you should remember to have a fully charged phone with you. I am not sure why but maybe there is something amazing which you can take a photo or a video of today.
Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st
Your starsign is shining a bit weirdly today. This means that you should take extra care when putting on clothing today. You might end up turning your t-shirt inside out, and not notice it. Or maybe put on your shoes on the wrong feet. Or maybe turn your scarf the wrong way.
Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th
Jupiter is very close to your starsign today. And Jupiter is a very stormy planet. Which means If you have long hair, you should braid it or put it up. Or your hair will become extremely tangled. And when you finally get it untangled, you will find grass, leaves and maybe a live bear inside it. So just put up your hair today.Print This Post